Hosts of heaven, hear me…

Draw near to me O Lord, hasten to help me, bring my soul out of affliction and have mercy on me for I am in need of Your great and abundant mercies. Despise me not, O my Master, though my good works are as filthy rags and my virtue is comparable to dirt. Forsake me not, Heavenly King, though in actions, in words, in thoughts and in deeds I have forsaken You. Heal me from within and unbind these chains, these passions which beset me and humble me even to the earth, deliver me from this death I bring steadily upon my soul. I dare not raise my hands to heaven, for with them I have become an idolater, I do not use them for labors of asceticism but for personal gain. I dare not lift my eyes to heaven for with them I behold that which causes me to stumble, with them I have entertained carnal thoughts and have set myself in a snare, eagerly, willingly, as a dog to his vomit and a naive lamb to the slaughter. I only raise my thoughts and prayers to the throne of grace, in hopes that Your mercy outweighs even my sins, the wretched, the terrible, the undeniable weight of my innumerable sins against You, against myself, against my neighbor, and against all the world. Forgive me, Lord, for I do not sin against myself alone, but I sin against You, and I sin against humanity.

I am humbled, my King, again, I am humbled, for in my sins I have warranted physical and spiritual death but I have not been made to suffer the cross. I haven’t a single day in my life without sin, I have scarcely a passing moment when I do not sin against You, I am the sinner, the hedonist, and in truth I have betrayed you more than Judas. Yet You have ascended the Cross even for my sake. You have given hope even to one such as I, that even my abominable sins are above retribution… for what manner of evil can I commit that Your Passion cannot subdue? What act can I, as creation, exalt above the acts of You, the Creator, Who has deemed in ineffable Divine Providence to grant great and abundant mercy to a world much in need of it? I am humbled… Lord I am humbled… grant through the prayers of your Saints that I may die with You, that I may be resurrected in You, in Baptism, in Illumination, and in glory. Grant O Master and King that, not for my glory, not for mine, but for Yours, that I may walk in the newness of life and suffer myself not to live as a child and product of spiritual Babylon, but the Kingdom which has no end. Grant O Lord and King that through the prayers of the Panagia and of all the Saints, I may no longer simply think of You, but experience You in Sacrament and divinization.

Have mercy on me O God have mercy on me, according to the multitude of Your compassions blot out my transgressions, wash me thoroughly of my iniquity and cleanse me of my sin…

For I am in need of Your great and abundant mercy.


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